I Was Wrong


An apology. Last week I was angry and allowed my sense of entitlement to give me permission to write and share a part of my life that hurt someone else. I had a million justifications and still feel most; but more importantly I feel that I could have done better. That I could have been kinder.I probably could never have gotten here without going there, that's the thing about lessons they usually come after the test… I failed. I allowed my feelings of injustice and frustration to permit me to be unkind to another, and since I used a public platform to do that, I feel like I need to use the same platform to acknowledge I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. At the time I  was so sure it was not my problem how they would feel. While I still feel handcuffed by an unpleasant situation I know the way I handled my part is not a fit for me. Apologies can seem trivial, but I have come to believe that they really can heal a heart. So, on the same platform that I used to vindicate my sense of injustice, I will apologize for the hurt I may have caused. I will never know what my words meant to her, but I do know that I am not proud of them. That the amount of self-justification I have had to give myself makes me certain I am not ok with it. I am sorry. I am sorry for the disruption my words may have caused and that I did not find a better way to address my feelings. I am very very much a work in progress and I am sorry I did not do better. I am still learning and I am sorry you had to be my lesson. Maybe you can take solace in knowing I will remember this in the future, and remember that no matter how much in a moment I may feel justified to lash out I have felt how bitter the aftertaste is and I will find a better way, a kinder way. I am truly sorry you had to be the one to teach me. Thank you for all you've done for me.