The Truth is I Owe You an Apology
I owe you an apology;. It has been brought to my attention that I have been perpetuating the exact thing I dislike and am aiming to create space for people to move past. The appearance of the “perfect life”. Someone told me the other day that they “are jealous of my life, it is so perfect”… I felt like I had my air knocked out of me. I was so embarrassed, they were being genuine and they spoke of an effort to aspire to be like me. The thing is, my goal as a teacher has always been to be as human and real as possible, to break down as many dividers as possible from self to self and self to others. There is no magic pill for perfection and in my opinion everyone has shit, some are just better at disguising it. I have never meant to allude to the perfect life so it is time I come clean. The truth is I do eat clean, raw, and juice daily but the truth is also that I eat a lot of chocolate and way too much sugar… something I am working on. The truth is I do practice yoga and meditate, but I also struggle to get to my mat in my own times of crisis and pain. The truth is I am social and love to teach but from time to time find it hard to even get out of bed and go out of my way to avoid many social situations. The truth is I have great friends and social circle but sometimes would prefer to be anonymous. The truth is I have a wonderful man in my life and the best dog but sometimes I long for the kind of freedom that can only come from being alone. The truth is I aim to be inspiring but not elitist, and if I have mis-stepped I am sorry. Only a few years ago I felt so insecure I didn’t even want to go into a yoga studio, things have changed and I now walk in like I own them but I know that feeling of insecurity and I hope I make you feel welcome and special in my classes and in the studios. The truth is today I am a lululemon ambassador, but am a little embarrassed as only a few years ago they wouldn't even hire me as a sales person. The truth is I almost didn’t include that because of what it might do to my image... and for that I am sorry The truth is for me there is a fine line of how much to share so I am being honest but not burdening the world that I believe I am here to elevate. Still know there are pains, and worries, and hardships and joys and pleasures and much that I do not share, my private life. The truth is I struggle with my demons and could maybe be more transparent. Today I offer to you an apology for falling into the trap of showing a perfect life. I hope to gain the wisdom and grace to share all sides of myself in an effort to never create a facade that appears greater than the truth.
Know your struggles are everyone’s struggles. No matter what people share or hide there are challenges for us all. Stop looking at others and fantasizing about what you are missing out on, you are missing out on nothing. Your life, if lived to its fullest, is all you will ever need. Find what inspires you and keep raising your own vibrations. I will do this too as I suffer from the same madness of thinking something is missing because someone’s social media page makes their life look more fun than my own, or career looks more prosperous, or home life more content. The truth is nothing is missing we have just been sold that idea for so long we don’t even question the paradigm. Stop believing in lack, comparing, or thinking you don’t measure up, it is in this way of thinking that you lose the gift of being you. You are enough. I am sorry if I have ever made you feel as though there is something missing in your life, there isn’t.
with love, Chelsea Ray