To The Valentines.

I hope you are loving them.I hope you are loving them with your whole heart. I hope you haven't become jaded by consumerism, or fallen into the trap and illusion of foreverness.  I hope that you let today take you down memory lane: To the first time, you saw them. To your first date, the first time you felt your body come alive from their touch. Let today take you back to your first kiss, your first fight and the pleasure of making up. Let your mind wander to the places together you have been and all you have seen. Let today be a day that causes pause. A day to stop and revel in how fucking fortunate you are to have this human in your life. Someone to call your Valentine. Today need be nothing more than a day where you are reminded to show them how cool you think they are. How grateful you are that it is you that gets to hold their hand and their heart.

What a gift, to be able to show them you care. I assure you, getting to tell them you love them is no chore. I hope you recognize the privilege that it is to express your feelings.

Imagine for a moment this. What if you don't have 20 more years together, what if you don't have 20 more months or 20 more days. What if you don't even have 20 more hours together? What would you do? What would you say? How might you be different on this day?

This is your chance.

I know maybe you feel like it's too consumerized or forced. I feel you on that, so dial it back. Back to the heart of it: A reminder to love; at its core, it’s nothing more. A reminder to express. A reminder of your good fortune to have someone to have and to hold. A reminder of how sweet it feels to bringing joy to the one that brings you joy.

See I care about this so much because I had a great love. One I thought I would have for forever. Only while we were planning a lifetime together, his lifetime was running out.

We loved one another well. Still, on these days, the days that call us to remember the sacredness of our partner I wish I had loved him better.

On this day what I wouldn't give to show him what he means to me. On this day please don’t think of it as a burden to show your special someone how you feel.

It is a luxury to have them, and Valentine's Day is merely a reminder to stop and lean in. To remember how delicious it is when they lean into you and your lips meet theirs. Or how it felt when you took their hand in yours and knew you never wanted to let it go. Today is a moment in time to clean the slate and fall back into romantic love.

What a beautiful thing. To those of you with a partner, please don't be callus with their heart or your own. What you have is magic and I hope you recognize it.

I can't go back and do it better, but you still can. You still have them, so please I beg of you, do not take them for granted.

Today, right now, love them like tomorrow isn't guaranteed. Not because it is Valentine's day but because it is true. Let today serve as the reminder for you.

I don't mean love them for the show. Not Instagram or Facebook perfect. Not for the world. No I mean love them true. For them and for you. Be vulnerable, be real. Let it be messy and right from your heart.

As someone who lived the last day with her beloved, I need you to know this. Today is the day. Show them what they mean to you. Especially if it is a challenge, you must find your way.

I want for you what I will never see. I want for you the words that may not come easily, but you'll find the way to say. Because they deserve to hear it. I want for you a night of connection that binds your souls. That pulls at your mind for days to come making your cheeks flush. I want for you the honesty of owning your shortcomings and forgiving them for theirs. I hope to inspire you on this day in ways I will never see. So go ahead, have the flowers, the dinner, the jewelry, the gifts, the photos, the hashtags, and all the likes...

But go deeper. Use this day as a reminder to love your lover your way.